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Tips Thoughts and Easy Talk

Does Absence Make the Heart Grow Fonder?

Tiffany Sanders - Wednesday, July 01, 2015
Yes, absence can help you recognize the value of your loved one whom you could’ve taken for granted or forgotten the spark that drew you together. Absence can also contribute to more meaningful interactions because the time spent together may be viewed as coveted and intense. Thus couples make the most of the time. They share and connect more reinforcing the love between the too. However, absence can also help you disconnect from your loved one and realize the relationship wasn’t really that great.

Breakup Etiquette: Dealing with an Ex on Facebook or Twitter

Tiffany Sanders - Wednesday, July 13, 2011

10 or 20 years ago, when you broke up with someone, the only things you had to really worry about were occasionally running into your ex while you were out and about or receiving occasional gossip and updates from mutual friends about how they were doing. If you didn’t have mutual friends or run in the same circles, ideally you were able to move on at a normal, healthy pace. However, Facebook and Twitter have unknowingly changed the break-up game because they provide you with 24/7 access at your fingertips to your ex which can ultimately slow down the healing process.  Because of the constant news feed updates there are more opportunities to be exposed to unsolicited information and pictures that your ex is happy without you which can leave you feeling jealous, slighted, or depressed. However, Facebook and Twitter shouldn’t be blamed for the break up game changing. Rather, individuals need to take responsibility for their emotional health and determine whether having access to their ex’s social media page is worth the emotional pain and turmoil.

After you have amicably broken up with your ex, here are the dos and don’ts of dealing with your ex on FB and twitter. You should scale back checking the like button or commenting on your ex’s status or tweet that you find interesting.  If you can’t resist the urge or are emotionally unable to handle seeing their pictures, updates or tweets, consider removing your ex from your news feed or not following them at all. Really there’s no need to subject yourself to announcements that he/or she is in a relationship or to view pictures of them spending time with someone else or having fun without you. There is an option to hide all of the posts by your ex. Also, you may want to consider removing old pictures and videos of you and your ex vacationing or spending time together off your page. Again, dwelling on the past and the memories will only keep you paralyzed and unable to move forward. We are all human so the urge to lurk or monitor their page will remain strong for a while. If your ex has decided to defriend or not follow you, don’t use a friend’s account to keep tabs. Also, don’t confront your ex on things you have read while lurking on their twitter page or account. That’s considered cyber-stalking and is a huge indicator you are not over the relationship! If you were holding out hope for reconciliation, the chances are by stalking their page you may have put the final nail in the coffin and confirmed to your ex that they made the right decision to end the relationship.


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